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Worrying vs. “Being Educated”

Worrying vs. "Being Educated"

It’s Kaylen here. Today my husband and I got into a some-what intense debate about the differences between worrying and merely being educated about something. Disclaimer: when I say intense debate, this is pretty “normal” in our household, and not in a bad way. We are just two very different individuals but that is why we are attracted to eachother. I am very artsy and constantly question the world around me, while Matt, my “manly-man”, is extremly intelligent,  but certainly a black-and-white thinker (like most males). Of course I am greatful for this, because I once dated a “grey” thinker, and he was too much like me…it was just weird. So our “debates” often evolve from myself trying so hard to make my grey areas appear black, or white, for him. For instance, today’s conversation went something like this:

“So Orry’s pediatrician (Orry is our nephew) said NO TV until age 2. This got me thinking about it, and I still see no issue with it being on in the background as long as it is not distracting him from play or interacting with us.”

We had heard of other new parents that implemented this practice (or non-practice), but never researched  it or inquired much about it ourselves. My “Type A” personality did not feel enough conviction about it to really research further. What harm could it do, being on in the background, while my 9-month-old contently plays with his toys and interacts with his parents? Now don’t get me wrong, we certainly plan on setting limits with technology once he displays interest in such things. We just try to be as “balanced” as we can be in this advanced world. We want our children to WANT to play outside every chance they get, just as we did growing up, but we also want them to be fully functional in today’s technological-savvy society–given that the economy doesn’t go too one-sided (never looking to conform and sacrifice our beliefs! But I won’t get into that now).

Matt responded, “Ohhh honey, you worry too much”.

“Seriously, Matt, this isn’t me worrying. Worrying would mean something is consuming my thoughts due to an established fear I felt. I am NOT thinking too much about this, I just finally did a little research and wanted to make sure you and I still were on the same page with this”.

Matt: “Eh, I don’t really believe in research. They can just make the results sound like they accomplished what they wanted to accomplish, most of the time”.

Me: “Umm, not if it is a valid study conducted and then published by a reputable source, such as the American Pediatric Association…You think they can just make their numerous test subjects do what they want?!”

Matt: “You seriously worry too much”.

“Ugggh, this is NOT me worrying. This was me making a statement based on studies I read, and merely sharing my opinion with you. There is a difference between worrying and being educated.”

Matt then ends this “debate” by ticking me. I HATE being ticked, especially when almost 27 weeks pregnant. I give it right back,  of course. He then always acts shocked at how strong I am, and I remind him of the many brawls my twin sister and I got in growing up (not proud, but I did learn some good self-defense at an early age!).

I bet a lot of gals, and some guys, can relate to my point-of-view here…I will admit, I do have a disadvantage. This disadvantage is, unfortunately,  my past. Now I firmly believe that people can change (tremendously) at any time with some awareness and consistent effort, but Matt has heard my parents reference my previously odd, worrying ways so many times that I think it subconsciously gives him some “leverage” to call me a worry-wart. Ugh. I don’t blame my parents for having those memories of me, because I will be the first to admit, I was a weirrrd kid. Like, I would cry if I was not asleep by 7pm..and odd things like that. I definitely had some OCD tendencies, and then I went off to college…and it all changed (for the better). This change didn’t happen over night, of course; I had one really rough year. My twin sister always laughs when I reference that year, because she, my replica of DNA, said she even had no idea what I was going through. No doubt I internalized it, but I assumed my insecurities were obvious from the outside, too (I always had to be surrounded by people, I was way too skinny, etc). I legitimately snapped out of pretty quick. I guess I look back at it being my “transition period”–going from an OCD-like kid to a confident women. And what changed? Not exactly sure..I had some-what of an epiphany that went something like this: This is my one chance on this planet, to be the person I was designed by God to be, and I knew He wanted me to be confident.  Then I met my husband, and we walked in the same direction, seeking the same things. That type of partnership makes a girl even more confident, especially when he treats her like a princess (most of the time, haha). I will talk about people changing in my next blog submission, because I have had a pretty interesting time dealing with a guy at work that has a legitimate histrionic Personality Disorder as well as a split personality disorder  (yikes!). Do you think people like THAT can change??….

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