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Natural Childbirth Class Experience Uno: Hippies and Blood Baths

infant baby

A few months ago I gave yoga a shot.

It made me want to have a shot.

Contorted me kept thinking one thing as the soft-spoken 50-something woman with a goddess’s body reached her limbs up to the sky as blue as the rhythmic ocean waves behind her:

Wtf. Seriously. WTF?Read more »

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What Is Labor Like, Grasshopper?

I am undeserving

What I expect pregnancy to be like (with post-delivery reflection on my sheer idiocracy):

Expect the worst so that you’re either not let down or moderately surprised. Hey, I’m an optimist. This is me being hopeful about my labor and reflecting on it:

  • I expect to be in labor, experiencing the contractions that make you think you swallowed a saber-toothed tiger on speed, for a week or two. It’ll make the three potential days seem like cake. This was a wise move. However, when those 42 hours of contractions and three hours of wanting to PUSH PUSH PUSH but not being able to PUSH PUSH PUSH because it would bust the cervix which could lead to complications came, the saber-toothed tiger on speed sounded pretty good.Read more »
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