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Let’s Talk about Cervices

The sharer of my DNA never posts Facebook status, but she posted the below as her status, and I thought it best to post on this long-neglected cyber wasteland in order to temporarily bolster my perceived self-importance. I mean, who doesn’t want to know about my stubborn cervix? Nah–honestly, when women tell me their preggo and birth stories, I just want to grab their hands and sing that one song Bono sang about the world.Read more »

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Crapping Cement, 12-Year-Old Doctors, and Home Birth Fail: Which Sucks Most? (Week 1)



Healthy Mommy Fact 101: I’ve always preferred to sleep odd hours or not at all. Ergo my needing to take a nap after Daddy’s alarms sounded and he zombied his way to the coffee pot. I kissed him good morning and fell into a dreamless sleep. Or perhaps my dreams were of giving birth and, as an adaptive function, I can’t recall them. Kudos, Mindblock, kudos.

At 10.38 AM I woke up having peed myself.

A lot.

How swell. Lovely. Neato. Let’s not share that one with the group.

After intense self-criticism of which morphed into profuse laughing, there on the pot I remembered something:Read more »

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Natural Childbirth Class Experience Duo: My Husband Has a Hand or Two. Believe It.


I attended my first second childbirth class ever, this one on relaxation techniques during the most painful day(s) (yes, that’s plural. Did you know labor can go on for days? DAYS?) of your life. Like with my first class, I had my zen on, what with the three popsicles I’d scarfed on the way over. Until, that is, Midwife Goddess’s soft-spoken words hit my ears:

“Tonight we’re going to discuss pain management techniques. And I do want to call it pain this time. I don’t want any fantasies about this not being the most painful experience of many of our lives.”

Then, because I really didn’t believe her one bit, on clicked the old projector to show us a woman dying a slow torturous death in a pool of blood.Read more »

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