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Jesus Rises and Crap Falls Onto My Chest (Week 5)



Last night went something like this:

Mommy: [Daddy], did you know babies have growth spurts at about this time?

Daddy: Oh yeah?

Mommy: Yeah. Babies cry a lot during them. But not ours, right? He barely cries. We’re so lucky. So so lucky.

Daddy made a sleep sound in agreement.

You, on the other hand, as if on cue, flashed your baby blues open and, get this, started wailing. You, wailing. Wailing. And wailing.Read more »

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Let’s Talk Poop, Placentas, and Precious People (Week 2)



This week is getting lumped together, Little Man, because I can’t even discern a day from another. Don’t get me wrong, unlike in sleep-deprived college days, the AMs and PMs blurring together has never been such a perfect thing.

Mommy and Daddy have parked out on the couch that we bought a few months back. After five years of marriage and over a decade together, probably it was time we got our first piece of furniture somewhere other than Craigslist or your grandparents’ shed. Expensive sofa got covered with waterproof pads, quilts, and more blankets because, what do you know, babies spit up. And mommy levels ice cream to face and completely misses. Hole in chin what?Read more »

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