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Feeding Baby Is Like . . . Sex?

Feeding Baby Is Like . . . Sex?

Today my doctor equated feeding Baby in middle of the night to getting up in the night to have sex.


She seriously said those words: Getting up in the middle of the night to feed Baby is a lot like getting up in the middle of the night to have sex.

That was it. No verbal back-up to make my wide eyes go normal and my head nod in understanding. So I see double and laugh at the pussiness of tequila-fun headaches as compared to I-just-popped-out-a-baby-and-won’t-sleep-for-18-years-now headaches, but I heard her: there’s nothing clogging my ears. Besides the promise everybody keeps promising me that I won’t sleep for 18 years.

I’d like to know what kind of sex Doc’s having. Or, take that back: No. No I wouldn’t.

I love my little man more than I could have ever fathomed. As many a parent who is reading this (hey, Mom!) would, I’d chew off my appendages if it’s what he needed. True, breastfeeding benefits Mom and Baby, such as by providing optimal skin-to-skin contact that begets the production of vital endorphins that Mommy and Baby need to bond and foster a sense of security and trust. But I think even Little Mr. Womb Withdrawals would agree with me on this one: Baby wants to alert Mommy with little whimpers and rooting that he needs to work food out of Jiggly Utters in dark, quiet hours just as much as Mommy wants to give up fantasies about waking up in middle of the night for sex.


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