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DON’T SUE; Go Eat a Cookie.

Twins With Tykes, a division of Epic Mineral Beauty, LLC, was founded and is owned by Fred, twin of Zeke. Together we are a pair of twins who are non-doctors, non-lawyers, yes-moms, yes-DNA sharers, non-dieticians, non-herbalists, non-dermatologists, yes-The Bachelor fans, non-counselors. Read more in a bit about how this should make you regard our golden opinions. For now, let’s talk moolah.

If we continue to make money from this blog, Twins With Tykes, I, Fred (disclaimer: not my real name), will (1) do a happy jig and (2) let you know. About our making money from this site and that I’m doing a happy jig—what a deal. I might even record it just to embarrass people who love me.

Also, if we should cease to make money from this blog, I will continue to post shit nobody reads, live off leaves, and do happy dances. YOLO.

Currently, we ARE monetarily affiliated with the following affordable, customer service BOSS web host, HostGator, and Catalyst – Dynamic, a DIY WordPress theme without the hassles of CSS and HTML. In other words? Affordable, easy-to-use WordPress building for laymen (laywomen?) like us.

Oh, snap, my cat is climbing my blinds, brb.

K. Feline successfully pried from precarious heights,

and in the meantime you decided you want to pay us to—

  • review your product?
  • run an ad on our site?

How neat. If you’re legit and cruelty-free, let’s talk. Shoot a message to twinswithtykes [!at] gmail.com or drop us a message on Facebook.

Any of our opinions—that’s right, these twins have a few—expressed within Twins With Tykes and related outlets (e.g., social media, Epic Mineral Beauty, etc.) are our sole opinions (and/or those of guest bloggers), not those of any imaginary affiliates or companies of which don’t (or, in the future, do?) pay us to review their products. BAM.

Also, our family would probably like us to note that our opinions oftentimes differ from theirs. Yeah. They don’t believe sleeping is optional or that canines as political leaders is an EPIC idea. But the fam can’t deny we’re theirs: we look just like ‘em and there are two too many of us to deny. DOUBLE BAM.

Not Done With the Opinion Thing Yet

Twins With Tykes, a division of Epic Mineral Beauty, LLC, accepts no responsibility/liability for damage or harm—indirect, implied, slap-to-the-face direct, whatever—that may be caused by

  • products featured, reviewed, advertised,
  • affiliates,
  • advice given,
  • insights provided,
  • or any other content on Twins With Tykes or Epic Mineral Beauty.

Every last word of content on this sphere of online heaven should thus be regarded as non-liable opinion. No safety of a product, advice, or opinion can be guaranteed. Product claims, data, opinions, etc., should be verified with the manufacturer and other credible sources. Any products mentioned are mentioned because we twinks use and like the product and believe readers, even the non-imaginary ones, will like it, too. But. We don’t know everybody’s likes and dislikes, even though we like to pretend we do, and we’re not telepathic, aware of your allergies, or liable for anything other than being weird and nocturnal and twinly.

Oh geez. There’s More. It’s Bulleted. It has to do with your privacy. Better read it.

  • Twins With Tykes accepts no responsibility for the links they link to or those of which link to them. If any actually do. Let us know: happy dance forthcoming.
  • Pretty sure our site does some stalking in that it catalogues log file info (whatever that means), such as your IP address, internet service provider (ISP), browser used to visit our site, time you visited, which pages you visited, and what your deepest, darkest secrets and macabre fantasies are. Kidding on the last part. Though I’d love to know . . . as long as they don’t involve fur, onions, or my sister.
  • I don’t know what cookies are besides edible delicacies, so if the internet kind of cookies are on here, I don’t know, but I’m telling you they might be? Take note?
  • Third-party advertisements might be present on our site. Cookies and other things I don’t get, like web beacons, might be used, and your IP address, ISP, info on the browser used to get to our site, and other such gen might be etched into some computer’s mind. I guess this has to do with geotargeting or catering ads to viewers’ interests, which is way smart on the advertisers’ part, just I hope people who see me pecking away in the coffee shop and the catered-to-me giant flashing organic nipple cream ad don’t stare too much. Or do. What do I care.
  • If, OMG, Twins With Tykes or Epic Mineral Beauty information or products are read/used by people in other countries, coolness!, but we take no responsibility for disparaging statements contextualized by government, belief systems, or laws from any place of origin. And, if you’re American and we pissed you off, perhaps we’re sorry, but the Constitution still stands. For now.
  • There’s no republishing of images within this site or allowed from this site. If we’ve accidentally plagiarized something, that would be a whopping fail on our part: contact us.
  • We read and (somewhat) moderate comments (but not really) and will not be held responsible for what others say at Twins With Tykes. So reflect upon the revolutionary info that this is all—including your comments—public.
  • We can delete comments. Just saying.
  • If there’s ever anything downloadable from our site, we’ll make note with permission to download and take zero responsibility for however it affects the technology of your computer and mind.

That is all.

For now.

If you made it this far, you should totally tell in the comments section what makes you do happy jig. Sleeping babies? Finishing reading posts like this? I’d love to know. Or, you know, what are your deepest, darkest secrets and fantasies?

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