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Bear Claws, Jimmy Kimmel, and Our First Cousin. Who Is NOT Incest.

comedy

Wasn’t going to post today . . . was going to eat peanut butter cereal and make mica-free mineral makeup and milk all day while watching some Wentworth Miller on this show that made me want to try out incarceration . . . a true ode-to-productivity day, yeah! . . . but what are twinks to do when their first cousin, part-time baby nurse, full-time funny and stand-up (comedian) gal talks about the practice of stuffing babies into multi-pocketed vests and incestuous tendencies in Iceland?Read more »

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Mineral Makeup for Mommies and Everyone Else. Sure, That Guy, Too, Why Not.

titanium dioxide free healthy mineral makeup mica free

Something is in the cornbread in the heartland.

THIS POST IS ABOUT MINERAL MAKEUP, EPIC MINERAL BEAUTY, SPECIFICALLY, AND ITS EPICNESS, SUCH AS BY OFFERING MICA- AND TITANIUM DIOXIDE-FREE MINERAL MAKEUP. I’m going to preface with all those key words because I’m about to talk about one’s ankles and calves merging unattractively into one, and I don’t want to confuse the webcrawlers with a tangent topic sentence:

I’m about as afraid of donning the infamous mom jeans as I am waking up one morning with cankles.Read more »

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Jesus Rises and Crap Falls Onto My Chest (Week 5)

parenting

3.25.13

Last night went something like this:

Mommy: [Daddy], did you know babies have growth spurts at about this time?

Daddy: Oh yeah?

Mommy: Yeah. Babies cry a lot during them. But not ours, right? He barely cries. We’re so lucky. So so lucky.

Daddy made a sleep sound in agreement.

You, on the other hand, as if on cue, flashed your baby blues open and, get this, started wailing. You, wailing. Wailing. And wailing.Read more »

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