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Poopfest! (Week 17)

parenting

(6.17.13-6.23.13)

I need to dispel some crappy truth before I sum up the week, Little Man. This story here was the highlight–I’m thinking yellow, a dirty yellow–of the week:

I’ve told undoubtedly enraptured readers about your crapping a mere once a day because your digestive system is rather normalized, more big-person status. Sure you’re proud of my broadcasting that. But anyway. With this, I anticipate a sizable puddle of yellow in one, maybe two, diapers each day (you still pee in them about eight times a day, out of them about half that frequency). Usually the crapping occurs between 1 PM and 6 PM, and the other day when I heard your belly gurgling post-suckling session, I was on it. You were on the changing pad, butt clean, so I expertly scooted a diaper under your bum, and BOOM.

Or however a fart sounds.Read more »

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OMG. You’re SUCH a good listener. To yourself.

listen

Are you a good listener? (YES DUH. What did you ask again?) Most of us would automatically  answer yes. Probably before the questions was finished–am I right or am I right?

Here’s what I think truly goes on in most “listening” minds. You are-

–anticipating what the other person will say next;

–conjuring the sheer brilliance, no doubt, you’ll soon blessedly bestow upon the person currently moving their lips,

–sometimes even while the other person is talking, because you’re soooooo right in what you’re saying;

–hear a voice forming some words, so you throw out some sagacious, emphatic uh-huh’s and oh really‘s, even varying your tone a bit and making occasional eye contact, you kind, epic thing, you!Read more »

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People Know Everything (Week 16)

parenting

(6.10.13-6.16.13)

I have a friend. Believe it.

Maybe I have a couple, if you count those of blood relation. (Please do, please.) Anyhow. I’ve gotten some resounding unasked-for advice lately from friends and blood-that-counts-as-friends-because-I-need-a-bigger-friends-list that goes as follows–

–stop cussing;

–chill out;

–sleep;

–SHOWER;Read more »

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