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What Is Labor Like, Grasshopper?

I am undeserving

What I expect pregnancy to be like (with post-delivery reflection on my sheer idiocracy):

Expect the worst so that you’re either not let down or moderately surprised. Hey, I’m an optimist. This is me being hopeful about my labor and reflecting on it:

  • I expect to be in labor, experiencing the contractions that make you think you swallowed a saber-toothed tiger on speed, for a week or two. It’ll make the three potential days seem like cake. This was a wise move. However, when those 42 hours of contractions and three hours of wanting to PUSH PUSH PUSH but not being able to PUSH PUSH PUSH because it would bust the cervix which could lead to complications came, the saber-toothed tiger on speed sounded pretty good.Read more »
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